Sunday, March 18, 2012

one week

My therapist tells me that I need to sit and deal with my feelings
It's okay for me to want to be surrounded by my friends and be distracted sometimes, but at some point...I have to feel things.
It's awful.

There are so many things I want to tell him.

I finally got to stop for the duck crossing sign in front of my apartment complex to let a pair of mallards walk by!
I was stopped at a light next to a white C63...and it took off like a rocket when the light turned green.
I had coffee with Stephanie and Bushra, and it was the first time in over two years we all three sat at Starbucks without sending you silly texts...and the first time I didn't get to brag about you.
I passed by your apartment on Thursday, and I cried.
When I visited Rockwall, I found 4 more of my juice glasses that I haven't been able to find anywhere else. Now I have my matching set!
I got a keyboard and I'm so excited! I want to play you some music.

Some of the stuff is serious, some of it is silly...but they're all things I wish I could text/tell him while he is away.
But I can't.

And every time that I hear my phone alert me to a text message, my heart still jumps because it might be him...
But it won't be.
(It just dinged, and it wasn't him. I started to cry.) :(

There are tissues in my purse, tissues in my car, tissues sitting next to me right now. I carry a tissue out with me to my car after I leave work. Just in case.

I miss my best friend.

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there sweetie!

    Oh and I TOTALLY get you on the whole heart jumping when you hear your text message ringtone on your phone! I get you! I did that too! There was so much I wanted to tell him and yet I wanted to know so badly what was going on in his life too, and I couldn't. Every time I passed by the places we were last at, I cried. I can't even hear the name 'Hurst' (where he lives) without it reminding me of him and all the memories of the dates, walks on the park, etc. that we shared there :(

    It's hard. But hang in there!