Friday, March 2, 2012

appropriation

STOP USING THE WORD "ONLY."

Just because your eating disorder "isn't as bad" as someone else's does not make it any less painful. Just because you never weighed 60 pounds, just because you didn't have a heart attack, or just because you didn't die doesn't make your disease less real.

I ONLY lost 40 pounds!
I ONLY went down a bra cup size!
I ONLY went down 4 pant sizes!
I ONLY went without my period for 3 months!
The worst of my eating disorder ONLY lasted for three years!

If we just went by the physical manifestation, to the outside world, I was probably a sucky anorexic.
Does that discount any of my experiences, fear, or mental anguish? NO.

We all think the same thoughts and are all haunted by the same things, no matter how it shows on our bodies.

"I feel so gross. I forgot to ask for my Caesar dressing on the side when I ordered my salad...and I could just taste the overwhelming amount of fat I was consuming..."
"I hate food. I really really do."
"Blah! I just feel so disgusting right now. I'm really going to have to cut back my caloric intake this week."
"I don't want to be fat again!"
"I can't sleep yet, either. I can just feel the consumables slushing around in my stomach. I'm forcing water down, trying to keep myself completely hydrated; it keeps enzyme reactions at a normal speed in your system."*

Don't you dare think you are less worthy of treatment or help because you deem your illness less than another's.


*All those quotes were taking from ONE journal entry my senior year of high school.

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